Friendship: the Foundation of Marriage

Last week my husband and I made cookies for breakfast. It is supposed to be healthier to eat a batch of cookies, or really any dessert, early in the morning rather than later at night. This way we have more time to burn off those extra calories. That’s not why we made them, though. We made them because the night before I’d experimented with making Pasta Puttanesca (not bad, though I think in the future I’d just swap the anchovies for tuna), and its smell still hung around the kitchen. I figured the best way to get rid of it … Continue reading

How Divorce Insurance Can Be Helpful

Planning a wedding requires a lot of time, effort, and money. After putting in that much investment, no one wants to think about the potential of a divorce happening. There is such a thing as divorce insurance, though. In some cases, it might help with the financial aspects of a divorce. This week, one of the biggest celebrity gossip stories that is floating around the internet has to do with Kim Kardashian. She was married to Kris Humphries for around 72 days before the couple got a divorce. There is speculation that this marriage was “a sham”, or “a publicity … Continue reading

Preparing for Marriage from Childhood

We all know couples who have gone in for counseling before they get married to help them get their marriages off on the right foot. This kind of preparation is awesome. What we might not realize, though, is that we are actually preparing for marriage from the time we’re born. When we’re toddlers and small children, we internalize how our parents treat us. As we get older, we notice how they treat each other. These examples become our first and most impacting lessons in what constitutes a home and a family. If we were raised in an unloving home, we … Continue reading

What Do You Bicker About?

Is there a difference between fighting and bickering? I really think there is. I equate fighting to be dealing with “big” issues. You know, things like raising the children, how money is spent and so forth. But I equate bickering with the “little” stuff, such as leaving the cap off the toothpaste or who gets to drive. Fighting means you have some serious issues to deal with. This requires a lot more work, perhaps even some counseling to get through it. These are issues that took time to build up and will take time to solve. However with bickering, you … Continue reading

When Someone You Love Won’t Face Their Depression

I have found myself in a difficult situation. I have come to believe that my husband, whom I love dearly, is suffering from depression. He is expressing a lot of common symptoms. He has lost interest in doing things, to the extent that he will sit in front of the TV all day. He doesn’t have any desire to play with our children. He’s moody and sarcastic. He rarely has anything positive to say. He’s irritable. He has little to no patience. He will sneak away any chance he has and nap. He has no desire for sex. Adding to … Continue reading

Expectations of Marriage

The success or failure of a marriage, I’d suggest, does have a lot to do with expectations of the marriage. Many times expectations are unrealistic and romantic. They have a dewy eyed view of marriage. Then when reality hits, it is hard to cope with. The reality is marriage is not all happy times and romance. Sometimes it can be hard. Be prepared for that. Sometimes you may still feel lonely or misunderstood. Don’t expect marriage to fulfill all your needs and expect that person to fulfill all your needs. This is an unrealistic expectation. No –one person can do … Continue reading

Do You Have a Divorce Threshold?

“If my husband ever cheated on me, that would be the end of it.” “He ever hits me, and he’s on the sidewalk with divorce papers in his hand.” I often hear women make comments like these, and I completely agree that infidelity and abuse have no place whatsoever in a marriage. If these elements have come into your relationship, they should be rooted out immediately. However, I then wonder, is there a boundary between what does and does not entitle a person to stay married? Is there a line that, once you’ve crossed it, you must get a divorce? … Continue reading

Special Needs Children and Your Marriage

The divorce rate is high in this country – over 50%. That’s huge. That’s more than half of the weddings you have been to and half of the happy couples you have celebrated with. Although statistics differ, the divorce rate is even higher for couples who have children with special needs. And I completely understand why. We head into marriage with big dreams, goals and ideas of how it will be. We picture this perfect life with these perfect kids. We may expect some bumps along the way, but when your child is sick, disabled, or challenged in anyway, it … Continue reading

Yelling at Your Spouse

Recently on one of the forums one of our members was adamant in a discussion that a wife was mothering and treating her husband like a child, with the response that he behaved like one. Others had an entirely different take on the situation and suggested the couple needed to undergo counseling for their marriage’s sake. So often when we’re out shopping or elsewhere, Mick and I hear one of a married couple yelling at the other. We regularly see celebrities in magazines and on TV involved in brawls with their spouse in public. Has this set some sort of … Continue reading

How to Find a Marriage Counselor

When your marriage is a bit rocky, you’ll want to seek out a good marriage counselor. But, you may not know where to turn. You don’t want to make your marriage worse by following the advice of a bad counselor. So, other than picking a marriage counselor randomly out of a phone book, what do you do? Here is some advice. Know Where to Look While the phone book is certainly an option, there are better ways. The first is through word of mouth from someone whose opinion you trust. However, you may be reluctant to share the fact that … Continue reading